Climb the ladder, one rung at a time
Each case starts as an ordinary difference and climbs towards a break. At every rung you choose what to do next.
MTWAFIQ CX · Team game · Work, university, school
STOP Notice it. Stop it. Choose better.
Most fights between people start as an ordinary difference. They grow when a hurtful habit creeps in, spreads, and nobody stops it. STOP is an MTWAFIQ game for work, university and school: you climb the ladder from a small difference to a serious fight, one step at a time, and at every step you choose. You learn to notice the first signs in yourself, to see what your choice does to others, and to pick a better move.
STOP is a mirror, not a court. Nobody is labelled. You see what the other person goes through and what can follow later, and you decide what to do with it.
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The situations are fictional and use roles, not real people. Regional notes describe common norms. Individuals differ, and every workplace and school has its own culture.
How it plays
A mirror, not a court
Conflict happens at work, at university and at school. It turns serious when a hurtful habit spreads, or when people support it without noticing. STOP trains you to spot it early, in yourself first.
Four kinds of response
STOP move · Half step · Lets it run · Adds fuel. Silence and going along count too: they let it run.
See what it does
Their side, in their own words, and what can follow later for you: trust, reputation, career, studies or friendships.
Phrased for your region
The same problem is described differently from country to country. Pick your region: the wording, the signs and the right channel change with it.
Work
Banks and financial services first: branches, operations, credit, call centres.
Employees, team leaders and managers.
University
Group projects, student clubs, halls of residence and class chats.
Students, student leaders and teaching assistants.
School
For children aged about 9 to 14, played with a parent or a teacher.
Pupils, with parents and teachers beside them.
The STOP ladder
Five rungs from a difference to a break
Every rung is a new chance to stop. Early stops are the easy ones.
- 5
Break An open fight or a broken relationship
An open row, a formal complaint, someone leaves or a team splits in two. Repair is still possible, but it is slow and costly.
How to stop it here: Protect people first, use the formal channel, and start repair with help.
- 4
Spread Others join in, or stay silent
People laugh along, forward, take sides or look away. The behaviour starts to look normal, and the person it lands on is more alone.
How to stop it here: Stop feeding it: don't forward, don't laugh along, give the other side, and take it to the person or the right channel.
- 3
Harm A hurtful behaviour appears
A rumour, a jab dressed as a joke, a closed door, a borrowed credit. A quick story in the head says it is deserved or harmless.
How to stop it here: Test the quick story, picture how it lands on them, and repair early. A small repair now saves a big one later.
- 2
Friction The difference starts to sting
A sharp reply, a sigh, a message read the wrong way. Feelings start to run ahead of the facts.
How to stop it here: Catch your own signal first: a hot face, fast typing, the urge to tell someone. Slow down and check what you actually know.
- 1
Difference Two people see it differently
Different views, priorities or ways of working. Normal, and often useful: differences are how teams find better answers.
How to stop it here: Name the difference out loud and stay curious: ask before you judge.
The four STOP moves
See, Test, Open, Pick
Every best option in the game uses one of these moves, and the feedback names it. They sit next to Pause and Reframe in Coping Skills.
See the sign
Notice the early signal in yourself before you look at others: a tight jaw, a fast reply, the itch to tell someone, the pull to laugh along.
- What is my body or my thumb doing right now?
- What do I feel like doing next?
Test the story
The mind tells a quick story in a second. Check it before you act on it.
- What do I actually know, and what am I guessing?
- Would I say this if they were standing here?
- What will I wish I had done tomorrow?
Open the other view
Picture the moment from the other person's seat. Ask what they need, and what part of this is yours.
- How does this look from where they sit?
- What is my part in it?
Pick the better move
Choose the response that solves the problem and keeps respect: say it to the person, privately first, or take it to the right channel.
- What would help, not just win?
- Who is the right person to hear this?
Four kinds of response
Silence is a choice too
- STOP moveStops the climb and keeps respect
- Half stepCalms things, but leaves something open
- Lets it runAvoids the moment, so the problem keeps moving
- Adds fuelPushes the ladder up a rung
Optional working styles use the four DISClock colours. A style changes the tip after each case, never who you are. More on DISClock →
For organisations
Stop the spread, support positive conduct
In banks and financial institutions, blame, intimidation and favouritism drive hidden mistakes, complaints and the loss of good people. STOP supports a speak-up culture, leadership behaviour and onboarding.
Facilitate a live session
Create a game code for Work or University. Each team plays the same cases at its own screen, and the leaderboard on the big screen shows awareness and the rungs held.
An awareness programme in your CoE workspace
Run STOP for branches, operations, call centres or managers. Pick from the MTWAFIQ cases or write your own, and see who completed. Only completion is reported, never anyone’s answers.
Notes for facilitators
Work
- Run it as a team session: one case per 20 minutes, a team vote at each rung, and the reveal on the big screen.
- Leaders go first. When a manager says 'I have done this', the room relaxes and learns.
- Keep it about roles and behaviours. Do not use the game to discuss a live complaint; that belongs to HR.
University
- Use it in induction week, before group projects start, or in club leader training.
- Pair it with the course's group-work rules and the university's conduct code.
School · ages 9 to 14
For parents and teachers
Every School case teaches one habit: tell a trusted adult. Classroom mode keeps no scores and stores nothing.
For parents
- Play it together, side by side. Read each step out loud and let your child choose first.
- Praise the noticing, not only the right answer: 'Good that you saw that.'
- Ask 'what would you really do?' and listen without correcting straight away.
- Share a time you got it wrong and what you did next. Children learn repair from watching adults repair.
- Agree who your child can tell at school, by role, and remind them that telling is not telling tales.
For teachers
- One case fits a 30 to 40 minute lesson: read, vote with hands or cards, reveal, then talk.
- Classroom mode shows no individual scores and stores nothing.
- Agree the class rules first: we talk about roles, never about classmates by name.
- End with the habit, and ask each pupil to pick one for the week.
- Follow your school's anti-bullying and child protection procedures for anything a pupil tells you.
If a child tells you
- Listen calmly and thank them for telling you.
- Do not promise to keep it secret; say you will help and who you will tell.
- Write down what was said, in their words, and pass it to the person your school names for this.
- If a child is in danger, act at once and contact emergency services.
If you or someone else is in danger, tell a trusted adult right away: a parent, a teacher or the school counsellor. Adults can call emergency services.
Not advice. STOP is awareness practice about behaviour. It is not counselling or legal advice, it does not assess anyone, and it does not replace your organisation's or school's policies. If something is affecting you, talk to someone you trust or to a qualified professional.